the scars of your love they leave me breathless
by WonderTwinC
Summary: They should be a couple. Mild spoilers for season three.


_the scars of your love; they leave me breathless_

They should be a couple.

She smiles at him and it causes his heart to race.

If he sees her break he tends to break right along with her.

They laugh together and nothing else has ever felt so right.

The fleeting touches always leave him wanting more, but at the same time he is afraid of wanting so much from her.

She grabs his hand once and it warms more than just his cold skin. He feels her emotions running parallel to his and he covers her hand with his own and squeezes.

They are not alone as long as they are together.

He takes a chance when he kisses her for a distraction, but the moment she comes back in he feels the atmosphere change. It's not just an undercover kiss. _It is the kiss._ The kiss they have been waiting to have for over two years now.

It ends and his heart pounds rapidly, but he shoves it down because he has to be there for the team and he can have his moment later.

When he tells her that he'll always have her back, he isn't lying.

He sees her with Josh and after all they have been through he doesn't know how it makes him feel, but he isn't happy. He tries to pretend that he doesn't care, but he can't. _He cares too much_ and that has always been the problem.

She tells him that she wants someone to be there for her, someone that she can be there for too. She wants the same things that he wants and he almost tells her. God must hate him though because he gets interrupted and he lets the moment disappear.

He keeps glancing at her though, and every time he does she is looking back.

Freezing to death has never been on his list of most horrible ways to go, but it definitely is up there now. He keeps watching her, though. He watches how her lips start to turn blue as her skin loses its color. He watches and it kills him that he can't save her from this.

She wants it to be another book of his so that he can re-write the ending.

Secretly, he wants the same thing.

As he holds her to his chest he has a sinking feeling that their time is almost up. She is slowly becoming quiet and it hurts to breath. Everything is cold and everything hurts and the only thing keeping him awake is _her_. She fades, though. She fades out right in his arms and as he says 'Stay with me, Kate' it breaks him.

She will never see that.

Waking up in the ambulance while calling for her isn't his worst moment, but having Josh there to witness it feels awkward. It doesn't feel like he is intruding on her life with the doctor, but it feels like doctor boy is intruding on _his_ life with _her._

He looks past Ryan and catches a glimpse of her smiling face and that's almost all he needs to feel the heat spread throughout his veins again.

They share a few moments throughout the day. There are glances and small touches and it keeps him going. She always keeps him going.

Then there is that moment where he thinks they are both going to die.

The thought to kiss her never crosses his mind. They reach at the same time and her hand is warm and secure around his. This means more than a kiss, and the look they share communicates so much. They don't need words.

He wonders when that happened.

Pulling all of the wires is perhaps the stupidest thing he has ever done, but in the end it proves to be the right thing. They drop hands at the same moment right before they fling themselves at each other for a hug. He holds her tight for only a few seconds before letting go. She is smiling and laughing at him and he is doing the same.

Esposito says they don't know how lucky they are.

He glances over at her and she looks at him and he knows that they both know.

They both know everything and for once he is not afraid of what that next step may be.

He thinks he might take it as they go out into the hallway. He plans on telling her how he feels. He is so damn close, but in the distance he sees Josh and he is reminded that their happy ever after isn't going to happen right now.

_It can't_.

Withdrawing everything, he pulls away with a tight smile and starts to leave. Every step kills him a little more because he knows what he wants and what he wants is_ her_ but she is with Josh and he won't turn her into a cheater.

He steps into the elevator and leans back against the wall. He closes his eyes and for the first time in a long time _he just breathes_.


End file.
